Hand Washing 101

Perhaps if learning how to wash ones hands became an admissions requirement, NYU could feel confident in the sanitary nature of its students.

NYU is a highly selective school, which makes me think that only relatively smart students make it through the door.  Well, smart students and legacies.  Regardless of how a particular student made it into the “yes” pile, I’m sure the university feels pretty confident that he or she can succeed in the classroom and later in the workforce.  Students prove that they can survive philosophical theories, theatrical critiques, and hundred page theses, but the one thing that seemingly holds them up is washing their hands.

Yes, according to the recent hanging of “Hand Washing 101” posters throughout the NYU library, the nation’s eighteen to twenty-one year olds can run the world by computer but cannot master the same mundane task that five year olds accomplish on a daily basis.

If that doesn’t keep you up at night, I don’t know what will.

How is it that any human being can actually make it to eighteen without knowing how to wash his or her hands?  Is that even possible?  And, on what planet is washing one’s hands a six-step process?

I must say, though, that the first step is what really got me.  Only the brightest in the nation would make step one on a how to wash your hands poster, “wash hands.”  Bravo.  At least if you’re going to make a how to poster for the one of the easiest tasks a person could possible accomplish, make it legitimate.

Tell me what you think.  Here are the steps.

Step 1: Wash hands (see, I wasn’t kidding)

Step 2: Soap up

Step 3: Scrub hands for 20-30 seconds thoroughly

Step 4: Rinse well under running water

Step 5: Dry hands

Step 6: Use your towel to turn off faucet

If a student is “misguided” enough to not know how to wash his or her hands, this process can’t possibly help.  Think of the task from the mind of such misguided students – all the questions that could run though their minds!  How much soap should I use?  The entire bottle?  Scrub hands with what?  Wait, water?  You need water to wash your hands?  What?  Dry hands with what?  My shirt?  What if I used my shirt to dry my hands, should I leave the faucet running because I don’t have a towel?  Washing hands is too confusing – I must get back to reading Darwin.

Seriously NYU?  I’m sure you could have found something better to do with the space on the back of the stall doors.  Like teach students how to pee in the bowl – now that would be an accomplishment.

Tags: Humor, Life, NYU, Poster, Washing Hands